Blood, Bone, and Family
by Sebe
Summary: Season 5. Something threatens Sam and it leads Dean, Castiel, and even Gabriel to reveal how they feel about the youngest Winchester. At least post 5x10.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Synopsis: Season 5. Something threatens Sam, himself. And it leads Dean, Castiel, and even Gabriel to reveal how they feel about the youngest Winchester. At least post-5x10

**Blood, Bone, and Family- part 1**

He'd been gone a half hour tops, Castiel popping into the Impala (and once more scaring the ever-loving hell out of Dean) after calling to ask his whereabouts.

"Jesus, Cas!"

"Apologies." It was an automatic response now, he wasn't going to change how he entered a room…or an Impala. "Where are we going? You haven't questioned all the victim's families yet."

"How do you kn- no, nevermind, I don't care. I left something I need at the hotel so I'm going back to get it." He had everything. Truth was, he had tried calling Sam earlier and gotten voicemail both times. His big brother spidey sense, which had corroded a little in disuse over the last two years, had raised an alarm. Sam had been doing extra research lately that he didn't think Dean noticed. He'd been twitchy and easily startled and overly polite, acquiescing to most anything Dean wanted and while he knew Sam wasn't off after demon blood, it was still alarming. Sam had been decidedly…off for a while now, but no one but Dean would have noticed.

His concerns sounded stupid and overbearing and he wasn't going to tell Cas any of that. He'd just go check on Sam, grab something random from the room (claiming it was something essential under his younger brother's scrutiny), and be gone. Then he'd get himself back together again, assured then that Sam was fine, and jolt back to the hunt, kicking himself for being such a pansy.

"What are you doing here anyway?"

Castiel's gaze narrowed a bit.

"What is it Cas?"

"Maybe nothing"

Dean rolled his eyes.

"Cryptic is just innate in you angels, isn't it?"

"Perhaps. But it's unintentional. I felt the need to check on you and Sam"

Dean eyed the passenger then. Maybe Dean wasn't the only one who had noticed something… The angel's statement was an innocuous statement, but for some reason he felt tension settle deeper into him and he stepped more on the gas.

They pulled up to the hotel and Castiel followed Dean to the door.

The next thing the eldest Winchester would later remember was dropping to his knees on the cheap carpet and hearing it squish beneath him.

"Sam!"

Blood pooled under _notbodydon'tthinkbodySamnotbody_ Sam. He flipped Sam onto his back and started tearing at his shirt to see the damage because he couldn't see, couldn't tell where all the blood was coming from. It was everywhere.

"Sammy! Sam! Open your eyes!" His entire being felt cold at already knowing what he'd find.

Red filled the bone-deep gashes in his arms and the knife-

Dean was going to be sick

The knife was still in Sam's loosely curled fingers, cradled by his brother like something beloved, like salvation. The wounds to Sam's chest apparent.

Dean's trained hands fluttered uselessly for a moment, moving to stop the blood flow and then pulling back because he was hurting Sam, but he had to hurt him to help him and Sam had done this. God, Sam had done this. He didn't know what to do.

_Sammy…_

Another hand clenched around Sam's arms pulled Dean back.

"Dean!"

Cas sounded off, almost frightened and Dean shuddered. If Castiel was worried, if he was showing emotion, it was bad.

"Get-get some shirts out of the bag over there." Wide blue eyes met his own "Now!"

The angel scrambled, yes scrambled, to do as asked. Dean tied his own over shirt around Sam's arm and pressed hard on his chest wounds.

Sam didn't so much as flinch.

"Dean."

"Hurry it up Cas!" his brother was hurt. Now was not the time to dick around.

"Dean"

What to do, what to do. First put tourniquets around Sam's arms. Then take care of the knife wounds. And this shouldn't freak him out, it really shouldn't. Neither of them could die. Heaven and Hell were keeping them alive. Nothing to worry about.

"Dean. Dean, his arm."

Dean was beyond annoyed and something like tears (but not tears because nothing was that wrong) blurred his eyes.

"I can see his friggn' arms Cas!"

"Dean. The _backs _of his arms"

'You're wasting time', his mind screamed, furious at the angel. He spared a glance up to scream at Castiel and saw what he was talking about.

Sigils were carved into the tops of Sam's arm. Deep and bloody as the rest of him. Fine. Weird, but not important right now.

"Stop wasting time and-"

"Lucifer can't find him"

Dean's head jerked up to see Cas's expression.

The angel looked…no, angels don't look devastated.

"I don't know how he figured it out…" Cas was staring at Sam, mouth slightly agape. "I didn't tell him. He asked but, I lied. They only work for death. It wouldn't have helped the dreams…I didn't tell him. Dean…" Cas looked at Dean, pleadingly, shaking his head back and forth slowly. "I didn't tell him…"

Castiel was flustered and his eyes looked bright and Dean couldn't _take_ it.

"No! Fuck you Sammy!" Dean spat. "You're not doing this, you're not!" He pressed harder on the wounds and saw Castiel drop to do the same.

"He-" Castiel sounded choked "His heart stopped"

So did Dean's and the world went white around the edges.

There was a sudden flutter, the same thing he felt when Castiel or one of the douchebag angels did their warping thing.

"Move."

The trickster- Gabriel's- mouth was set in a grim line, his eyes hard. And not now! Not fuckin' now when his brother might be dead in his arms. Dean was pissed and choking on grief and _done_. They weren't getting Sam, they weren't.

Dean was up and pressing a knife to the arch angel's throat.

"You're not getting near him" tone low and dangerous with a touch of hysteria.

Gabriel's face scrunched in anger and Dean was flung effortlessly into the wall and held there.

Castiel stood defensively before his brother (and which one was his brother now, the angel wasn't sure), something fierce in his eyes.

A wave of Gabriel's hand and Cas was in the same position as Dean.

"Don't touch him! I'll kill you! I'll kill you!" Dean snarled.

If he heard him, Gabriel didn't acknowledge it. He knelt next to Sam and immediately pressed his palm to the boy's cooling forehead.

Tears were flowing now as Dean gave everything he had in him trying to break free of Gabriel's power.

Sam gasped and immediately curled up onto his side, coughing wetly and weakly clawing at the carpet, choking on the blood in his throat.

Dean didn't know when he was freed, but he was grabbing his brother tightly and clenching a hand in his hair, speaking harshly into his ear.

"Sam? Sam! You hear me? Sammy, talk to me"

"You should wrap him up pretty quick or he'll bleed out again"

Castiel was standing between the Winchesters and Gabriel, but Dean didn't take his eyes away from Sam's violently shuddering form to see.

"What did you do?" It's how Castiel had sounded when he was speaking to Raphael and it chilled the air in the room.

Gabriel glared with a put-upon sigh as though he were speaking to a child

"I brought him back idiot. Tell me you haven't lost so much power that you can't tell that."

"Why?"

Gabriel folded his arms and shrugged

"Maybe I'm invested in seeing these two morons take up their roles." In a softer tone and glancing to the side slightly, "Maybe I'm invested in these two morons."

Castiel's eyes were hard and appraising.

"How did you find us?"

"I've been keeping tabs on you all since the warehouse." The archangel said casually "Been checking in now and then."

Before Castiel can question him further, Gabriel spoke again.

"I cleaned the pills out of his system, and dealt with most of the internal damage, but I couldn't heal all his wounds. It's already enough of a risk that something will be able to pick up on the power that I used."

"Why?"

"Again with the 'why'?" Gabriel threw his hands up in an exaggerated gesture and then pulled back in on himself. He looked to be considering his next words. "Kid was already on the edge, now our big brother's in his head all the time… Maybe I don't want Sam dead." He wouldn't meet Castiel's eyes and Cas saw something he had never seen in another angel's eyes, something like remorse. "Maybe I helped push him further when I didn't mean to…"

Castiel hears regret in the voice.

Gabriel straightens quickly and turns to Castiel again.

"I tie up my loose ends, brother."

And then he's gone.

Castiel stands a moment more before turning to help Dean. The green eyed man already bandaging Sam tightly, all the while murmuring softly to his unconscious brother.

Castiel notices his own hands shaking slightly as he works on the boy and wonders when these brothers, when Sam, had come to effect him so much that he would stand against an archangel to protect them, when his hands would shake and his breath quicken at the idea of losing one of them. He can't find an answer.

The angel watches as Dean's tears slip off his nose and roll down Sam's neck.

tears slip off his nose and roll down Sam's neck.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Dean and Castiel keep vigil over their wounded charge.

**Blood, Bone, and Family- part 2**

Castiel sat on the side of the bed looking at Sam's face, relaxed in exhaustion, not sleep. His fingers made to close over those of the youngest Winchester, but he hesitated. He didn't know if he was allowed that gesture at this point. But refusing Sam's hand had been one of the triggers leading to their current situation. In the end he settled for sidling his hand up against Sam's, barely daring to touch in fear of inflicting further damage and reluctant to pull away for the same reasons.

Dean stepped back into the main room with fresh wrappings for Sam's wounds. His eyes were dry and face weary as he scanned Castiel's position to his brother. He was back in protector mode, scanning even the angel for potential threat. And Castiel supposed he was on some level. He was not blameless in this.

Dean sat on the opposite side of the bed and set about wrapping Sam's right arm from wrist to elbow. Castiel took the remaining bandages cautiously, being scanned by Dean the whole time. He moved slowly so as to not seem any kind of danger and began wrapping Sam's other arm in similar fashion, covering the stitches.

They worked in silence and after checking Sam's pupils, '_cleaned the pills out of his system'_, because his little brother was nothing if not thorough, Dean sat back slowly. He had worked almost mechanically since finding Sam and cleaning him up, now he seemed lost. Castiel was faring no better. They looked helplessly at each other for a moment and were then left in their own musings. Minutes of silence passed before Dean spoke, his voice tired and worn.

"I've spent most of my life protecting Sam from every evil in the world. Every…monster, and shadow, and demon crawling after him in the night." He rubbed a hand over his mouth. "I never….how do I protect him from his own mind?"

He turned to the angel and Castiel could see he was honestly looking for an answer, his eyes glistening. But Castiel had no revelations for him and Dean resumed staring at his own hands, still spotted in his brother's blood.

Castiel felt an uncommon weight in his chest, something that had been growing heavier each day and had culminated when Sam did not answer his phone that night.

Sorrow, grief, helplessness.

He had been enjoying his expanded emotional range. Now he wished for nothing more than it's absence.

Slowly, the angel took Sam's hand in his own and clasped it between both his hands as he had done when they had first met. He glanced over at Dean and saw his fingers fisted into Sam's shirt. Maybe he too was afraid of hurting Sam further by touching his bare skin.

"I have tried not to think of my part in this" he began uncertainly, only just fleshing out the proper words he needed. "But this, all of this, is as much on my shoulders as yours or Sam's, probably more so."

Dean's mouth tightened, he was listening.

"He was broken when you died" He saw Dean's jaw clench "He tore out every part of himself that wasn't essential to getting revenge on Lilith. All his compassion and faith and trust…he did away with it all until only a sliver of hope remained, so deep that he probably wasn't even aware it was there." Castiel's eyes felt hot. "And then I tore that away from him too"

Dean finally looked up at that, eyes settling on the angel, face expressionless.

"Everything was falling apart around him and he reached his hand out to me with light flickering back into his eyes. Sam saw one last visage of salvation," He hung his head and felt shame "and I only looked to his blood. I dispelled the last illusion of peace left to him." Castiel looked at the red still staining his palms and murmured mournfully. "I don't wish to see his blood anymore."

Dean laughed humorlessly, but said nothing, turning instead to gaze at Sam.

"We're supposed to take care of each other. I'm supposed to take care of him. But all we've done is push each other away. All I've done is…_this_" He gestured to Sam's still form. "The devil's in his head, hunters and angels want him dead, he hates himself-"

Castiel saw Dean freeze and his hand flew to his mouth, his eyes wide in shock of what he had already known subconsciously and only now, finally, voiced and realized.

"He _hates_ himself Cas. He wants to die. My little brother wants to _die_." Dean reached a trembling hand up to Sam's hair beginning to run his fingers through it. Instead he grazed a rounded scar on Sam's temple with his thumb. He had never noticed it before, Sam's hair covering it. His very bones shook and he felt ill, like he could still see the powder burns that must have been there at one time.

"Aw, _god_ Sammy…"

And then the oldest Winchester was curling down, his forehead pressed to the sheets beside Sam's head. He bit his lip and Castiel could tell by the shaking of his body that he was sobbing, his hand still against the side of his brother's face.

Castiel knew nothing he could say could offer any type of comfort, so he said nothing.

He watched Dean in his anguish and continued to hold Sam's hand, fearing what would happen to Sam, to them all, if he let go.


End file.
